Joseph “Brent” Shoemaker, 68, of Columbus, passed away peacefully at Riverside Methodist Hospital on September 11, 2023, but his larger-than-life persona and trademark stubbornness will not be forgotten.
Born December 4, 1954, in Lima, Ohio to the late Raymond and Geannie (Melville) Shoemaker. Also preceded in death by his brother, SGT. Raymond A. Shoemaker II.
Survived by his brothers; Jeff Shoemaker of Lima, Ohio, and Richard Shoemaker of Mtn. Ranch, California. His children; Michael Shoemaker of Columbus, Ohio, and Ann Foulk of Blacklick, Ohio.
He also leaves behind four grandchildren; Grace Shoemaker, Olivia Foulk, Gavin Foulk, and Addison Patlovich. Many nieces and nephews and good friends.
He was a hard worker and always went above and beyond to provide for his family. His grandchildren were stunned to learn his “real“ first name is “Joseph” (“who is Joseph ?!?”), but he never called them by the correct name either. He must have followed suit from his mom, she called all her grandchildren the wrong names. Just went down the list till she got it right and someone finally responded.
Brent was world-renowned for his lack of patience, not holding back his opinion, and a knack for telling it like it is. His extensive vocabulary was more than highly proficient at knowing more curse words than most people learned in a lifetime. He loved those four letter words.
His children remember some of his best lines;
“You’d bitch if somebody shit in your lunchbox” and “My mama raised ugly kids not stupid ones.”
In his younger days, Brent enjoyed playing golf and riding his Harley. He liked John Grisham books, CSI crime shows, and keeping every piece of mail ever sent to him. His family is going to need an industrial size shredder to get rid of it all.
He had a bad habit of throwing away all the things that were needed and keeping all the things that were useless. He could never figure out the TV remote, the Sonos speaker, or his cell phone. He liked his snakeskin boots and would go by the nickname “Cowboy” at times. But his favorite was a tall glass of Wild Turkey with a splash of coke.
His devout feistiness and stubbornness had served him well throughout his life. And even in his waning months, he was a model of strong will and sheer determination right up until the end of his journey here on earth.
Following his wishes, there will not be a service, but well-wishers are encouraged to get out a disco ball, throw on some loud tunes, and have a dance party. Laugh, reminisce about the good times, and raise a glass of their favorite drink in his memory. Everyone who remembers Brent is asked to celebrate his life by telling a 'He wasn't so bad' or 'What an ass' story of their choosing. Or maybe just go enjoy a “Kewpee” burger in Lima, Ohio.
He was never one for sentiment, but he wanted you to know that if he owes you a beer, and if you can find him in Heaven, he will gladly allow you to buy him another.
Cremation will take place at the families convenience and his ashes will probably be kept in the hall closet-because urns are not aesthetically pleasing decor. Or until his daughter sprinkles every last bit of him at every concert she attends, on all the beaches, in oceans, and from roof top bars. “That’s not sand in your mouth, it’s just Brent.”
His children thank him for always being an amazing father and for the $118 in cash he left in his wallet. “XOXO..Hugs and Kisses.”
His physical body may no longer be here on earth, but he has already returned in the form of a grasshopper. So next time you see a grasshopper, think of Brent.
He will be greatly missed by all.