Joseph E. Yoakum

Joseph Edward ("Joe") Yoakum

He was a man's man, my dad. You could sense that upon meeting him, not only because of his large hands, strength and agility and deep voice, or his skill with nearly any tool you can name, but for his hunting and baseball skills as a young adult, his lifelong passion of fishing for "whale-igators," and his skill as a builder and construction coordinator for Metzger Brothers and Tamarack Construction companies. He built all 3 of the houses we lived in while I was growing up -- one in the Clinton Estates neighborhood, and 2 in Westerville east of Hoover Reservoir. He built several more at the helm of "Fine Homes Limited," his own side business, and helped build homes for friends and family. I have had a lifelong love of the smell of freshly sawn wood and hardware stores because of my dad.


Dad's deadpan humor and dry wit were somewhat legendary, and he loved to crack up other people –
usually without cracking up himself. He played his share of pranks and hijinks, but they were always good natured. He loved to joke and laugh, and he enjoyed life. We cracked up together about old-school Godzilla & Vincent Price movies on Fritz the Night Owl's shows many Friday nights, over a bowl of popcorn. When he would drive me to the bus stop many miles away when I was in high school, we used to listen to and try to figure out Ellery Queen mysteries on the radio. He had a gift for connecting with people. If he gave you a nickname or modified your given name, you knew he really liked you. I'm proud to say that I received more than 20 nicknames over the years. I learned a lot from how my dad treated others, and from his ability to prevent conflict, usually involving some skillful application of his trademark humor. Although he wryly referred to himself as "Mr. Wonderful" on occasion, he was actually a very humble and quietly competent and confident man. He didn't boast; he let his actions do the talking. Truly, you couldn't help but like the guy.


Dad was a "get 'er done" kind of guy. He was never one to talk about fixing something someday. He would take care of it "immediately, if not sooner" – for his home, my home, and friends in need. When he wasn't building or fixing something, he was mowing the back field on his big Satoh tractor or taking down some "trash" trees at the E. Walnut St. property. When my parents got word that a family from St. Matthias had to give up their pony, Pride, Mom and Dad worked it out that I could have the pony, so long as I did all the work in taking care of him. That was an easy "yes" for me, and taught me a lot about responsibility. Dad built Pride an amazingly sturdy and huge corral in the middle of the field, with a beautiful tree inside for shade. Dad also blew me out of the water with the 18th birthday gift of a cherry-red late model Mustang he had painstakingly restored from a hunk of junk. He was amazingly capable.


Happily married to dark-haired beauty Rosemarie ("Ree") for 62 years, Dad was devoted to his family. He earned a very modest income, and my mother did not work outside our home until I was in college. They both grew up in the Great Depression, and knew the meaning of frugality. They started out married life at the US Air Force base near Bangor, Maine after Dad returned from serving in the Korean War. At that time, they used the cash-in-envelopes system to pay bills, and strictly budgeted everything. Over time, having moved back to Ohio, my father built beautiful homes for us, doing most of the work himself with Mom's able assistance and calling in favors from construction friends and colleagues. He and my mom also managed to put me through Catholic schools, paid for my braces, and took us on several weeklong vacations to Cape Cod over the years. They also saved some of his hard-earned dollars, and invested a bit of it. What an example to follow!


Yes, Dad was devoted to my mother. They were aligned in their core values of faith, family and hard work. He appreciated her cooking and (amazing!) baking skills, and would let her take center stage when they entertained others in our home – she the gregarious and sparkling personality, he the low-key jokester holding court in a corner of the kitchen. They frequently invited guests for dinner, but kept it simple – usually involving a home-cooked meal or a barbeque, and Tripoley or some other kind of card game, and sometimes with singing. Mom had a beautiful singing voice, but Dad couldn't really sing for a darn, although he added some "bum, bum, bum" percussion to songs. He loved music, including Broadway show records on the hi-fi stereo, like "Camelot," "West Side Story," and "The Sound of Music." They were great dance partners, and Dad often spontaneously squired Mom (and me!) around the kitchen and dining room. Dad and Mom were part of a monthly dinner club with some friends from high school, entertaining in each other's homes. They were blessed to maintain those friendships through the rest of their lives, sometimes taking trips together.


Dad was also a low-key charmer with women of all ages, even in his final days in hospice care at Kobacker House. He couldn't help it; it just kind of flowed out of him. As a child and adolescent, he had such long eyelashes that women would reportedly "oooh" and "ahhh" over them. Such fawning attention embarrassed him, and he was relieved when he burnt off half his eyelashes in a fire he accidently set in the field next to his boyhood home. Despite that loss, his winning smile and genuine gratitude won him gifts of cookies and special treats from his mother, mother-in-law and other ladies throughout his life.


Dad was faithful to the Catholic Church over the course of his lifetime, following in the faith of his parents. He served as an altar boy during much of his late childhood -- serving at 6 AM Masses made easy by the proximity of his family's home at 1810 East Main Street to Holy Rosary Catholic Church just down the street. My parents were members of St. Matthias Church for the majority of their married lives, from the time they lived in the Northland area until their passing, and raised me in the faith. We gave God thanks at every meal, and always said the Rosary at the start of every long road trip. They attended daily Mass at various churches for many years after Dad retired, including St. Matthias, St. Paul's in Westerville, and Church of the Resurrection in New Albany. They volunteered to cut pies for the annual fish fry events at St. Matthias in their later years, helped at the garage sales, and helped decorate the church for Christmas. A 1948 graduate of Columbus' Aquinas College (all-male) High School, Dad would even make sure he attended Mass during annual weeklong fishing trips with the guys.


Besides his devotion to family, work and the Catholic Church, Dad's overriding passion was fishing. He worked all year for and dreamed of his annual weeklong fishing trips with the guys. They most often fished at Leach Lake in Minnesota and other venues in MN & Canada. In more recent years, their trips were shorter, to Lake Chautauqua in New York.

2013 began one of the most challenging periods in our lives. Mom found a little bump on the bottom of her left foot. She had it removed, and the spot was later excised by a surgical oncologist after the diagnosis of melanoma. Beginning in Nov. 2014, I moved in with my parents to ease their way and help provide care for Mom. After a valiant battle, including participation in a clinical trial, Dad lost his Ree in March 2015. We've had many tearful moments, missing her since then, most often connected to music they loved and songs she sang.

As for Dad, he had worked hard to stay in great physical shape all his life; his livelihood and family commitments depended on it. With the one notable exception of smoking a pack of cigarettes each day for 40 years, he lived a fairly healthy life. He did quit smoking, however, and later survived hypoglycemia and prostate cancer as well. Due to an early diagnosis and a little over one year of chemo, he was also in remission for several years from multiple myeloma (cancer of the bone marrow). He even managed fairly well with coronary artery disease, which earned him several stents over the past few years. But in January of this year, things began stacking up for him, with worsening myeloma, worsening kidneys (a result of myeloma), and congestive heart failure. His beleaguered body didn't tolerate chemo or immunotherapy infusion in his last months. He was referred for community hospice care on July 18th, began receiving care on the 22nd, and was transported to Kobacker House on the 26th. He passed
peacefully on Monday, July 29, 2019 at age 89½.


Despite the real challenges of the past six months, it is most definitely true that Dad lived a long and fruitful life, and I praise God for him, and for all he was to our family.

He was preceded in death by his parents, Edward T. and Marie Gossling Yoakum; by sisters and brothers-in-law Ellen and Wil Crise, Peggy and Bill Henry, Col. Robert H. Lockwood, Paul Metzger, and Donald Sweeney; uncles, aunts and many dear friends; and by his beloved wife Ree Hillis Yoakum. He leaves many to cherish his memory: daughter Heidi Yoakum; sister Mary Sweeney; sisters-in-law Georgann Metzger and Martha Lockwood; nephews Kevin (Laurie) , Phil and Chris Sweeney; Mark (Sonia), Bob, and Matt (Lisa) Henry; David Crise; Steve (Karen) Metzger; and Brent Lockwood; niece/Goddaughter Lisa Crise Cornelison; Sweeney nieces Martha (Ron) Pfeifer, Sue (Rose-Marie) Sweeney, Frances (Ted) Miller, and Theresa Passwater; Metzger niece Susan Metzger (Gary Hauschulz) and niece/Goddaughter Sherrie (Danny) Galloway; Lockwood nieces Pam Koll, Kendra (John) Marshall, and Brae (Don) DePol; Henry niece Rebecca (Chuck) Moser; and Hillis Goddaughter Linda Loughman. He will also be remembered fondly by many, including longtime and dear friends Frances Doyle, Dick & Joan Johnson, Sandy Kloeb, the Woodie Phillips family, the John L. Phillips family, Bill Swope, Bill & Cherie Thompson, Fran & Ken Weise, and Anne Marie Wood.